Beat cigarettes by outsmarting them

There’s far too many “Quit Smoking” posts on the net for me not to be incredibly realistic, to the point, or motivational. I’m a not-so recent inductee of the non-smoking institution, and I feel that I might be able to offer a little hope if you found this article intentionally and you’re thinking of taking the plunge.

It’s worth it

Live longer. Have more time. Have less social barriers. Impress. Be healthier. Bang like a champ. Get to know your body again. Smell better. Taste better. Work on that six pack, do something else.

Get fired up

No one likes to be foolish, so, uh, did you know that they’ve been replacing most of the tobacco in your cigarettes with thin paper strips soaked in ‘butt water?

No, really. They cut it up really fine and the nasty recycled cigarette tobacco chemical bath makes it brown so they can pass it off like real tobacco. It’s called “recon” (short for reconstituted), and it’s made from old returned cigarettes, paper, and tobacco stems.

There’s even a video (“recon” @ 1 min 45 sec):


So you’ve actually been paying more in recent history for old recycled cigarettes. These ain’t your daddy’s cigarettes, made in an era where smoking was classy, seductive, or respectable.


Turn off the fear

There is a difference between “needing a cigarette” and fearing not having them. No doubt your life runs to the tick of your smoking schedule, but if you’d never smoked before and someone handed you one right now, would you try it? Would you go through the effort, today, of learning not to choke the first couple drags?

Allen Carr’s “Easyway to Stop Smoking” really reinforces this much better than I ever could, and I have never met someone who failed to stop smoking after reading it. Myself included. It’s all in the little things; for instance he says “Stop smoking”, not “Quit smoking”, because ‘quitting’ something implies you’re giving something up —when in fact you’re gaining so much. You’re adding, not subtracting, when you quit smoking. That’s Allen Carr, the man is a genius.

72 hours to freedom

The chemical addiction is the worst part of quitting smoking, hands down. The extreme tiredness, mood swings, appetite, adrenaline rushes for no reason –bad news bears. But what’s 72 hours of Basketball Diaries style withdrawal away from prying eyes over a weekend full of sleep, movies, (sex?) and Chinese take-out in return for more energy, improved virility, harder, larger erections and a fuller, longer life? Officially it’s something like 48 hours and you’re nicotine free, so at 72 hours, you’re clean. From nicotine. Not from killing people. So avoid all tempting situations, maybe trade the beer for a protein shake for awhile. Unplug.

Then what

Now the healing begins; I have quit smoking enough times over the years to know that 9/10 times I get sick afterwards. Horribly sick. If you’re lucky, your body will still have some defenses left in your lungs to wage a full scale attack on the charcoal that covers them; this is good, a good cough and some lung butter is what the doctor ordered. There’s a lot of distractions out there to make it easier to quit smoking, you just have to look for them.

Being sick will make you less likely to smoke, it will obligate you to be away from alcohol and people, and generally clean you out. Roll with it. Lots of vitamin C, lemon water, garlic and olive oil. (St. John’s Wort can help with mood swings, but read up on that one or consult a professional before you try it as it doesn’t mix with other medications).


Smoking has been compared to heroin and crack by the same people who levy massive taxes on cigarettes and medicare. Think about it; They want you to believe its a larger-than-life challenge so you can fail a whole bunch of times and they can get a few more cartons into you before you wise up. It doesn’t need to be that hard. I say f* them, f* big tobacco, and f* being weak. You’re a big angry bear, and you can do it.

Sources: Time, Allen Carr, common sense